Seating Chart Horoscopes

The cafeteria isn’t the only place where students have an unofficial assigned seat based on their personalities— there is also plenty to be said about where you sit in a large lecture class. To help you navigate the different personalities you’ll encounter in class, ORANGE created an unofficial seating chart.

Story by Krystal Cruz

Illustrations by Ryan Hicks

The Front Seaters

Sitting right in front of the professor, you'll find the opinionated person who often raises their hand, and is the savior of a dead, silent class. If you are not this person, you may be the person sitting near them or watching them from the back of the class trying to decide if you love or hate them. Every once in awhile, you'll witness this student arguing with the professor about something they feel strongly about, and you’ll utilize the distraction to sneak off and check your phone.  

The Late Comer

This person is often seated on the far end of the first row because it was the only seat not taken 10 minutes after class started, and didn’t involve them climbing over other students' knees. This person always uses the same excuses to explain why they were late. Perhaps they “accidentally turned off their alarm” or “the Starbucks line was really long.” The worst part about being the late comer is the awkward eye contact they make with the professor as they stumble into the classroom mid-lecture.

 

The Hidden Gem

Found in the middle section near the walkway, this student often stays quiet throughout the lecture, but will raise their hand when talking about a serious topic. They take detailed notes, and are often on a first name basis with the professor. You would like to think this person is the Professor’s or TA’s pet, but in reality, they actually did the pre-lecture readings, and you just want to blame someone else for why you failed your quiz.

 

Switzerland  

Right in the center of the room, a couple of seats back from the front, but not too far back, this person often has the best view of the room. They hide from the professor to avoid being called on, but they really do want to attain a good grade. On good days they'll answer a question without raising their hand, and on bad days they’ll be playing games online. They are the ones who signal the professor that class is almost over by loudly packing up their stuff 10 minutes before class ends.

 

The Dasher

Dashers are found in the back seats of the lecture hall near the exit doors with the intent of ditching early to work on a paper that’s due before their next class.  Their aggressive typing or scrolling may sound like they are taking notes for class, but in reality they are probably procrastinating on their paper by watching cat videos on youtube.