Shedding the Perspective of Others

Story by Milagros Huang // @milihuang // She/Her

Photo by Emma Roche // She/Her

On occasional nights, my bubble of friends hangs out over a couple of drinks and conversations. Among the discussions of how our days are going, how the situation over a boy is healing, or the stress of college, the topic of our high school experiences always lingers. 

I cannot help but realize the imminent transformation that college has on all of us.

Looking back at pictures from high school and reading the letters of recommendation my teachers wrote for college, creates a blurry description of how I was back then.

I walk through my past like an art exhibition, glancing around, remembering who I used to be.

The painted picture hanging in my mind’s gallery depicts an overall kind-hearted and introverted girl wearing her school uniform. Her hands are scarred signifying hard work and struggle. Her posture is hunched over because of always feeling comfortable being small with the background. Timid shoulders, shy smile. Clueless and unaware gaze in what is to come of life, and so much potential that she has in store on taking those obstacles.

Then, continue to the next painting, a white canvas splattered with cream and burgundy and shades of light green and sage. The description next to it is written by people who are in my current social bubble. In their mind, they see me differently. Exclaiming I’m an extrovert. It reads in big bold letters of various fonts.

And so....who am I in between these two paintings? Am I an introvert like back in high school or an extrovert as my college peers describe me? Where do I fall in between these two ideals?

Eyes squinted, looking at the paintings from another angle. I see the bottom of a cracked eggshell being traced out in pencil.

In high school, I always felt constricted. In a blink of an eye, you were already defined, classified, and set into a certain category of people. Tall, athletic, smart, nerd, theater, creative. And once you start college, there is a realization that no labels define you unless you seek them voluntarily.

College is a fresh start, and you get to decide what path you want to embark on with choices for your own self. Similar to the Sims but not really. There is so much space for growth and so many people around you that labels are meaningless.

I cracked and broke out of my shell.

I changed. I became more extroverted. I went partying as I would not do back home, I experienced heartbreak and the struggles of dating which have never happened in high school.  I grew up, and I found my true self.

What about you? Did you break out of your shell? I hope the answer is yes.